it's been exactly four months since i last posted/ visited LJ. let's pretend like i don't feel silly emotional about posting an entry right now. apparently, i've had my journal for seven years (if you count the account switch). i know that most of you all have had yours for just as long, longer. ah, wow.

what has happened? last thing i wrote here - i was accepted into UCSD. well, i got (won? earned?) a five-year fellowship. the terms are very comfortable, and it's . . . really nice.

i finally passed college algebra! haha, i went into the exam like rocky IV or something, and i passed the course with a 73 C. math, may we never meet again. stupid bitch, piss me off

kristen and i are moving on 8 august. she has a job in SD all ready - she'll be graduating with her master's in speech pathology, so she's landed a great position that pays really well. obviously i am getting a great roommate deal, right. we'll be living a 1/3 luxe life (better than the 1/16th luxe life i currently live).

bonnie, sho, and ninja are all doing well. except bonnie brings cockroaches she catches into my room, so i in turn have to bring the pain to her. uh

i'm doing really well too. i miss ya'll. of course, i still talk with some of you, but not everybody. it stinks. i don't know . . .

i may or may not be on my cycle and feeling very sensitive and emotional idek. i don't like thinking about the past even for a minute. the past has never been too kind to me. but i saw my grandma and aunt yesterday for the first time in three years. i'm leaving everything behind. they understand - guys, i can't describe how it made me feel. i felt loved, really loved. my family is not very close, or perhaps even very kind - but they're my own. and my grandma told me that she's proud of me - she's never really said that before. my aunt told me that i look happy, and that means the world to her. i've grown up a lot. i needed them to see that, to see me as my mother's daughter, a well-adjusted and successful adult. and so it was . . .

and there were the tears. i didn't even know i felt that way until i started typing. this is why i love my LJ. such therapy - virtual pages completely stiff with years of my angsty tears :3

i hope you're doing well, f-list. to those of you still here, thanks for sticking around. i don't do much to keep in touch on my end, but i've known most of you all for so long that it bums me out hugely when i lose ya.

please drop me a line, if the mood strikes you . . . i'll be back soon, i think. i'm on tumblr as well, cough, but it's mostly pictures of emaciated white male models, don't judge me. but i miss actually blogging about something lolzy that happened on the bus, or how supper gave me gas, or how brilliant that new film is. and kanajun i miss him sfm

until then!

Harry; you've got to crack 'em

friend cut.

yes, indeed.

because, really, nobody wants to hear me cry all the time.

no hard feelings for real, yo ♥
  • Current Music
    beatles - come together
Tophat; rareweapon

MILESTONE ENTRY. we've passed the point of no return, guys.

i suppose it is that time once again. time for a capspam.

i haven't been having the greatest of all weeks, but why complain when you can channel your frustration and discontent into something useful?

like posting a bunch of screeencaps to your blog and captioning them?

yay. the lucky person this time is D.I. lestrade from BBC's sherlock. i was going to attempt one of these for john, but i drowned in adorable and gave up. and rupert graves is quite nom*, in any case.

* i know you all friended and admire me for my impressive vocabulary!

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new EDIT FOR POSTERITY: tumblr really never lets me down. it appears that r. graves has in fact had a gay relationship, but ~*~it wasn't for him~*~, apparently. i 1/2 take back the breeder thing, rupert. also: just because of the similar thing he said, i immediately imagined tom hardy and rupert graves having sex, and i was pleased and utterly distracted for four minutes.

no, it doesn't take long.

~*~EDIT 2~*~ oh and his wife is asian? i am assuming she's his wife, which will probably get me into trouble, but what the hell. she's pretty fucking precious. oh god, it's all too cute for words! :D :D thanks tumblr! :"D my mood is greatly improved.

! this is officially a milestone entry. i am not labeling a couple with a bunch of kids as breeders and i'm not calling a white man with an asian wife a 'pinkerton'. holy shit guys, this has been a real teaching moment for me. don't you ever say the internet does not improve my person :D
SHSP; john is lame

my name is cami and i

have serious issues with procrastination.

kristen is forcing me out of the house tomorrow morning, first thing when i wake up, and we're going to some sad, cold place to study.

i really need to - i agree. but. but. i did do something today besides read the new rolling stone 100 greatest beatles songs issue.

i made a tumblr.

it is here:

i spend 70% of my computer time on tumblr, anyway, so why not. i do not plan on following people, but i am very amused at the thought of having a catalogue of everything fandom-y i'm interested in during the course of a day . . . available. public.

and so i can see how transient my likes and dislikes are. i am really . . . i am very keen on that idea. hm.

on that note, immaculate really needs one of these, so i can stalk her, because i am intensely interested in her current and ever-changing fandoms.

fuck, i need to be in bed by 4am. um. lemme re-blog a few more things before i turn in . . .


. . .

WAIT OH GOD HOLY SHIT OH-CHAN, I LEAVE ARASHI FANDOM FOR, LIKE, NOT EVEN TWO MONTHS AND YOU . . . YOU BECOME MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN. oh god i wish i could force myself to stay awake and look through the arashi shit that's gone down and i've missed. ltgmars FILL ME IN, please. somebody do a compilation post.

and one for EITO as well. god, i am so behind. shaking and crying how could i for one second forget that no number of white men could ever be as amazingly fulfilling to me as one oh-chan? falls asleep to sound of own tears.
Tophat; rareweapon

fiction post.

title: deleterious
fandom: the prestige
genre: general/ angst
pairing: robert/ alfred
rating: pg-13

summary: alfred remembers digits and diaries.

notes: so. this is quite unexpected. i originally wrote this immediately after my first viewing of what is now one of my favourite films, for immaculate; i've completely re-vamped it (much cringing at my teenage writing was had). i apologize if it is impossible to read; i wanted to practise tense switching, my achilles' heel. therefore, the fiction is written in first-person present tense (alfred's writing in the diary), and first-person past tense (alfred's narration).

ltgmars recently saw the film for the first time, so that was my motivation to tackle this monster.

that, and i really wanted to write an inception fic, but i absolutely cannot, for some bizarre reason. so this nolan film will do. at least i didn't roll the wayne/ crane out, eh? D:

. . . well. okay. no, that is not completely true. let's be honest. so, apparently the prestige is joseph gordon-levitt's favourite nolan film. that's the real motivation behind this project.

to: actual friends - fuck you, i am not some kind of goddamn fan-fiction generator.

to: pretentious mildly homosexual actor i do not know - i hope you like it

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ADVENTURE TIME; emo corner

everybody loved this JGL post except for me :(

oh my fucking god. joseph - joseph - shut up. stop talking.

i remember now why i kind of don't actually like him, as a person. i am saddened that his stans are unable to see how irritating and pretentious he is. that being said - the real reason for this entry --

he almost played the gay mormon in latter days. oh god oh god shaking and crying, i would have died :'(
also, i didn't think he was gay before reading this. now i think he's a douchebag of the worst sort - hipster hollywood liberal who cares about gay causes omgsomuch, but is ~*~totally not gay, bro not that there's anything wrong with that~*~, so ~*~not gay~*~ that he denies the importance of homosexuality as more than a plot device.

also, i am now convinced that he is quite possibly gay. wait, so. maybe i still like him. he's no RDJ, but now i can fantasize about him having sex with channing tatum! all's well that ends well.

*edit ltgmars said this in a less crazy way:
I appreciate that he means well, but the way he conveys the "okay with gay" thing is really ridiculous. He's like the guy who has something good to say but prefaces it with, "I'm not gay, but--"


anyway, i'm at work, of course. working hard. scott showed me this:

the world ending (in ice) - guy trying to rescue the mona lisa, but is attacked by polar bears in a geographically incorrect paris! amazing.

and then scott said that JGL is basically keanu reeves, and we looked at 'sad keanu' macros and lol'ed.
oh god. enlarge this. you'll be glad you did.

oh, work.
  • Current Mood
    pessimistic lol ok jgl
Tophat; rareweapon

i was looking at the lights.

so, scott pitched me his screenplay for batman 3 [untitled] today.

in all honestly, it was awesome. but, because i am 12, after he finished and i applauded him, i asked,

can we have a gratuitous sex scene between JGL* riddler and bale batman?

* yes, i say the initials JGL.

scott just sighed, defeated. he usually fights this, but i think he agreed with the brilliance of this idea.

yeah. but you have to shoot it.

me: awesome. bale will have another bale out breakdown, and will shout, "what the fuck is it with you? why the fuck do we have to do this? IT'S FUCKING DISTRACTING from the plot!"

but JGL will be all, "christian! this is art! come on, it shows how persuasive the riddler is. it adds an extra plot layer. and homosexuality is risque and hip. it's awesome! the actual penetration makes it more authentic!"

scott: he will slap that little hipster bitch."WE ARE FUCKING DONE PROFESSIONALLY, MAN"

cami: oh my god. click click click goes my polaroid. rough trade!

scott: polaroid? you won't even have a camera? not only that, there is also reason to be concerned about the fact that you'd be shooting this at 3am.

me: at my apartment. on my bed. i will never change those bedsheets again.

scott: disgusting. they're actors, but i doubt they're that impaired. "where are all the other crew?"

me: "i've never seen you before. who exactly are you again?"

scott: you'll be wearing a nametag that says assistant director. but it'll be written in crayon.

cami: "why are you naked and fondling yourself, assistant director?"


oh, good.

also, my boss decided to re-hire me at the library as actual staff. kind of made my semester, that. they like me! so much stress off my back. although i feel like a douche for being one of three people (out of one-hundred something) who were not laid off :( i'll miss them.

tiny anger: some white bitch can not tell me that i mentioning white privilege is 'whining.' and i fucking abhor black anime nerds/ weeaboos that are so self-loathing that they "do not identify with black people." UGH TINY RAGE BOULDER.

aw, my tiny rage boulder hit JGL. good
  • Current Mood
    happy happy